Oh, compromise...

Got a haircut today.
Modeled after this:


When I walked in the door afterward, my mom said, "You look so much like Katie Holmes with that haircut."

Later we watched The Ice Storm and she said, "Nope. Holy shit. You do look just like Christina Ricci. I used to say, 'everything but the eyes,' but no, especially the eyes."

I get both frequently and maybe it's a little true and more obvious when I steal their haircuts and watch a movie which features them both...but it's still, "Hey, you look like them only not as pretty," right?
If either of them ever need an uglier little sister in a movie, I'm up for it.

On an unrelated note...I was thinking about will and how easily it can break or... grow stronger.
When it comes down to it, it's really a matter of what you want, sometimes even without understanding it.

There was a guy I used to talk to online when I was in high school. We met once when we were kids and hated each other, still for some reason (which would become clear in time) all those years later he insisted on talking to me.
Eventually we were talking almost everyday, but when he visited my home town it wasn't a pleasant experience and when he visited a second time, it was worse to the point of being disgusting. Both times he treated me like crap, but the second time he blatantly sexually harassed me and I'll spare you the details.

I hadn't talked to the guy in years, on purpose, and with good reason. I signed on to an old screen name when I couldn't sign on with my usual one and immediately received a message from him. I could've ignored him, but I didn't.
Soon it was evident that he hadn't changed at all. Still the same creepy motivations. And why was I talking to him?
I didn't know.

He asked if I'd talk to him again tomorrow and I said I would.
In fact, he made me promise.
Today, I blocked him on that screen name too and I have no intention of ever talking to him again. And even though it might be wrong or spiteful, I think I did the whole thing on purpose.
Even when we were just chatting, early on, when he said things that were off-putting, he was always the type to plead my forgiveness. Someone who couldn't stand to be hated.
I don't hate many people, but I do hate him, and I thought it fair that he should live with it after what he did to me.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Funny, but it seems like the people you most want to talk to, the ones you obsess over, are always the ones who aren't there to talk to you...whether they're getting revenge on you or not.

I know who I wish was here to talk to me...and it sure isn't him.